1 00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:00,816 You all right? 2 00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:04,524 You still haven't given me your number. 3 00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:05,792 No. 4 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,131 Mary... 5 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:12,204 it's the same for me. 6 00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:14,763 - Honestly? - I was just as nervous as you were. 7 00:01:15,942 --> 00:01:18,103 In that bathroom, I was a teenager again. 8 00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:21,170 These things happen. 9 00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:25,274 I didn't plan it. 10 00:01:26,052 --> 00:01:28,145 Any more than you did. 11 00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:31,589 Don't spoil it, please. Come on. 12 00:01:31,624 --> 00:01:33,319 It's all right. 13 00:01:33,359 --> 00:01:35,350 It's all right! 14 00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:38,554 It's all right. 15 00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:45,127 (Tinker) It's gone in, so it's got to come out. 16 00:01:52,145 --> 00:01:54,113 What make is that? 17 00:01:54,147 --> 00:01:55,580 Boeing? 18 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:03,278 - Keep at it, lads! - Lovejoy, let's go shopping. 19 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:34,851 (Camera clicks) 20 00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:58,803 Ah! I suppose you want to know what Lovejoy's doing 21 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:03,407 swanning around the country in a limo and swilling champagne at - what is it? - 22 00:03:03,449 --> 00:03:05,974 11:20 on a Thursday morning? (Tuts) 23 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:08,010 Well, I'll tell you. 24 00:03:09,222 --> 00:03:11,486 Greg Veitch of Sydney, 25 00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:15,460 that's Sydney, Australia, where the soaps come from and the Ashes go to. 26 00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:17,520 He's up from Oz to buy a few antiques. 27 00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:21,728 Don't knock it. 10% of whatever he buys. 28 00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:24,066 There's so many unscrupulous types about. 29 00:03:24,103 --> 00:03:27,937 You know what I mean. Part of my brief is to make sure he does not get done over. 30 00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:31,102 Or, if he does get done over, it's me that does it. 31 00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:33,908 - Lovejoy! - Greg! 32 00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:35,938 Excuse me. 33 00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:41,646 Look at the patina on that. Centuries of use, regular polishing. 34 00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:43,849 - You like it? - I love it. It's beautiful. 35 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,085 - Talk me through it. - You testing me again? 36 00:03:46,125 --> 00:03:48,992 No, I'm here to learn as well as lighten my wallet. 37 00:03:49,028 --> 00:03:51,189 Silver, George the First, 38 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,529 approximately... 39 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:56,091 Uh... approximately 28 ounces. 40 00:03:56,135 --> 00:03:59,764 - 28 and a half. - I've failed again. 41 00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:02,502 - So do we haggle? - There's no hurry. 42 00:04:02,542 --> 00:04:04,772 - It's a bargain. - Sure it's a bargain. 43 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:06,802 I'll tell you why. 44 00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:11,183 - Not the real thing. - You're kidding. What, in here? 45 00:04:11,217 --> 00:04:13,742 - It happens. - But it's got a hallmark, look. 46 00:04:13,786 --> 00:04:18,120 Yeah, sure it has, but look at the space between the hallmark and the base. 47 00:04:18,157 --> 00:04:21,991 The hallmark's been cut from a genuine piece and then put in here. 48 00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:25,930 - Are you sure? - The hallmark's genuine, coffee pot isn't. 49 00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:28,525 Lovejoy, you're an ace. 50 00:04:28,568 --> 00:04:30,559 We're in great trim. 51 00:04:32,672 --> 00:04:35,505 - But I'm still looking for a eureka. - What's that? 52 00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:40,478 Oh, the biggie, the... the great white. I won't know it till I see it, 53 00:04:40,513 --> 00:04:43,710 but we gotta give it a burl. I can't go home without my eureka. 54 00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:45,982 That's what I'm here for. 55 00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:47,350 (Police radio) 56 00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:51,047 Is your husband at home, Mrs. Russell? 57 00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:53,081 No, he's in court. 58 00:04:54,193 --> 00:04:56,184 Identification. May I see some? 59 00:05:02,902 --> 00:05:06,099 Do you recognize him? 60 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,608 - No. - His name is Blaine. 61 00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:12,076 Jerry Blaine. 62 00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:14,978 - Are you sure? - Yes, I'm quite sure. 63 00:05:16,783 --> 00:05:18,580 Ahem. 64 00:05:18,618 --> 00:05:20,586 You... 65 00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:22,679 You had lunch with Blaine last Tuesday. 66 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:26,815 That's not true. 67 00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:29,125 No. 68 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,431 - Were you following me? - No, we were following him. 69 00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:39,097 Why? 70 00:05:39,138 --> 00:05:41,436 - He has form. - He's got a prison record. 71 00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:44,773 - Recently released from Wormwood Scrubs. - I don't believe it. 72 00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:48,076 It's true. We thought he had a meet fixed with another villain. 73 00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:54,184 - I don't know what to say. - Blaine was killed last night. 74 00:05:59,158 --> 00:06:01,820 He was shot with a small-caliber pistol. 75 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:05,695 It's what's known as a virginity protector. It's a lady's gun. 76 00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:10,368 - I see. - A known villain with form, 77 00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:12,564 still on parole... 78 00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:14,835 and a judge's wife. 79 00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:17,536 I don't understand. 80 00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:21,069 - Are you accusing me? - Do you have an alibi for yesterday? 81 00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:24,515 Say, late afternoon, early evening, four till nine o'clock? 82 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:27,314 Yes, I... I think I was here. 83 00:06:27,353 --> 00:06:28,911 - Yes, I was. - Alone? 84 00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:30,946 - Yes. - Can you prove that? 85 00:06:32,358 --> 00:06:34,349 - I... I don't know... - (Phone) 86 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,385 Yes, I think I could. I need... 87 00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:39,095 Excuse me. 88 00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:41,897 60950. 89 00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:46,598 Yes, he is. It's for you. 90 00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:52,009 Shand. 91 00:06:52,044 --> 00:06:54,012 Yes, guv. 92 00:06:54,046 --> 00:06:56,378 Yeah, I'm with her now. 93 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,407 Uh, no, not yet, no. 94 00:06:59,952 --> 00:07:02,352 Yeah. Yeah, will do. 95 00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:04,413 It's the super. He wants a result. 96 00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:07,119 Look, Inspector, if this story gets out... 97 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,390 Yeah, but it's not a story, though, is it? 98 00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:13,988 It will ruin my marriage and damage my husband's career. 99 00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:18,129 Well, he's already had one heart attack. 100 00:07:19,839 --> 00:07:23,775 - This could kill him! - What are you suggesting, Mrs. Russell? 101 00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:25,801 I'm not suggesting anything. I'm... 102 00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,610 I'm begging you not to take it any further. 103 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:40,717 You see, the problem is, you lied, didn't you? 104 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:43,524 You said you didn't know Blaine. 105 00:07:43,563 --> 00:07:45,690 - I was frightened. - Cliff? 106 00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:48,598 Well, you're the guv'nor. 107 00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:52,661 - You didn't know Blaine was a criminal? - I knew nothing about the man at all. 108 00:07:55,241 --> 00:07:56,799 I believe you. 109 00:07:57,910 --> 00:08:01,038 Now, at this stage, it may be containable. 110 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:05,141 Your name could be left out the frame for a price. 111 00:08:05,184 --> 00:08:07,414 - Cliff? - Not my decision. 112 00:08:07,453 --> 00:08:09,785 He plays by the rules, does our Cliff. 113 00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:13,986 You see, the trouble is, it's gone higher than us. There's others involved. 114 00:08:14,026 --> 00:08:17,723 - How many others? - The super, the Blaine family brief. 115 00:08:17,763 --> 00:08:20,926 - The police lab that processed the photos. - Us. 116 00:08:22,735 --> 00:08:25,226 I haven't any money! 117 00:08:25,271 --> 00:08:27,239 Mrs. Russell, please! 118 00:08:30,376 --> 00:08:33,368 This is my husband's house. 119 00:08:33,412 --> 00:08:35,403 He handles the financial affairs. 120 00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:39,447 I've got a few shares, a PEP, 121 00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:41,919 and a small amount in a building society. 122 00:08:41,954 --> 00:08:44,650 - That's all! - Then sell off a few baubles. 123 00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:47,557 - It shouldn't be too difficult. - If you move quickly... 124 00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:50,892 - Very quickly. ...we may be able to persuade the super. 125 00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:59,937 (Greg) Did Jameson make all of these? (Lovejoy) Yeah. 126 00:08:59,972 --> 00:09:03,567 - All of them? - What do you reckon? 127 00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:06,544 - They're fun, aren't they? - I think so. 128 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,705 One London dealer bought a lot of them. 129 00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:11,410 Uh-huh. 130 00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:14,613 - Jamie? - Hey, Lovejoy! 131 00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:17,088 - Greg Veitch. - G'day. 132 00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:18,750 - How are you? - Fine. 133 00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:21,726 - How are my lamp brackets? - Ready by the end of the week. 134 00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:26,755 - Bit meat and potatoes, isn't it, brackets? - Nine to 12, work. Two to six, play. 135 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:29,233 - I'll show Greg around, OK? - Aye, carry on. 136 00:09:29,268 --> 00:09:33,136 - Hear about the Giacometti frauds? - Twenty million quid's worth. 137 00:09:33,172 --> 00:09:36,767 - What happened? - Somebody nicked old Alberto's moulds. 138 00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:40,074 - Copies have been popping up all over. - How naughty. 139 00:09:40,112 --> 00:09:42,103 No chance of us getting hold of any? 140 00:10:51,617 --> 00:10:54,848 No, no, you really should see our place. It's on the beach. 141 00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:58,721 Uh, three stories, view of the ocean from every room. 142 00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:01,955 10,000 squares, six bedrooms, five state-of-the-art baths. 143 00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:05,521 - Oh! A lot of room for two. - We've got Viv's oldest with us. 144 00:11:05,564 --> 00:11:08,829 - Vivienne's your wife? - Yeah. She's my third. 145 00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:12,861 I always marry little women. It takes fewer furs for the coat. 146 00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:18,207 - Was yours a family business? - Lady Jane, 147 00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:21,441 my old man was so dumb, when he died they made him into a stock cube. 148 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,677 He couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. 149 00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:26,708 Oh, sorry. Being a bit crude there. 150 00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:27,946 (All) Oh... 151 00:11:27,987 --> 00:11:29,648 (All) Ah! 152 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,816 (Man) I say! 153 00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:34,587 - Oh! Absolutely beautiful. - (Applause) 154 00:11:35,728 --> 00:11:39,858 - What's this? Guy Fawkes? - It's someone's birthday. 155 00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:42,459 Oh, it's Mary Russell. 156 00:11:42,501 --> 00:11:44,765 Anybody you don't know? 157 00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:47,602 Excuse me. I must just go and say many happy returns. 158 00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:53,503 (Greg) That's a class act. 159 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,106 Where do you fit in, Lovejoy? 160 00:11:56,148 --> 00:11:58,139 Family friends. 161 00:11:58,751 --> 00:12:01,447 - You never thought of giving Oz a try? - No. 162 00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:05,583 Oh, you should. It's changing fast. Ten years ago they used to joke 163 00:12:05,624 --> 00:12:09,560 what's the difference between Australia and yogurt? Yogurt has a culture. 164 00:12:09,595 --> 00:12:11,927 How can you tell that Jesus wasn't an Aussie? 165 00:12:11,964 --> 00:12:15,764 They searched, they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin. 166 00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:19,635 They don't do those jokes anymore. Just as well. 167 00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:23,608 It wasn't a birthday. It's their anniversary. 168 00:12:23,642 --> 00:12:27,169 Lady Jane, it's time for you to sing for your supper. 169 00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:28,976 Oh, dear. 170 00:12:29,014 --> 00:12:31,676 Well, singing never was my strong suit. 171 00:12:31,717 --> 00:12:35,847 Jane, Lovejoy has worked wonders, but I still need two or three special pieces. 172 00:12:35,888 --> 00:12:39,881 I've got the crown, the pearls and sundries, but I've not got the coal and ore. 173 00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:43,258 - Are you with me? - Mm. Not easy. 174 00:12:43,295 --> 00:12:46,492 If I go home without it, Viv will throw a tantie. 175 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,663 - Oh, thank you, Andrea. - You're welcome. 176 00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:59,104 What about Fairford Hall, Sir Max Spence? 177 00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:00,134 Ah. 178 00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:03,148 - Who's he? - Impoverished aristocracy. 179 00:13:03,182 --> 00:13:05,548 He's just been clobbered with death duties. 180 00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:17,593 Well, if I have another one, you're going to have to stay over 181 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:21,191 because I won't trust myself to drive you home. 182 00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:25,863 - In which case, don't have another one. - Yeah, I knew you were going to say that. 183 00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:29,466 Well, if you won't do the indecent thing... 184 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:36,244 Did I tell you, by the way, about this old edition of the Karma Sutra I've been reading? 185 00:13:36,282 --> 00:13:39,183 - You mentioned it. - And this chapter on the Hastini, 186 00:13:39,218 --> 00:13:41,277 - or elephant woman. - Lovejoy... 187 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:45,017 And this position known as "the twining of the creeper." 188 00:13:45,057 --> 00:13:47,321 - Lovejoy! - Wait till you've heard about it. 189 00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:50,817 - Stop it! - It's to do with honey... and black pepper. 190 00:13:50,863 --> 00:13:53,195 - No. Lovejoy! - Black pepper. 191 00:13:55,868 --> 00:13:58,098 - Something wrong? - I don't know. 192 00:13:58,137 --> 00:14:00,662 What is it? 193 00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:03,800 Silver spoon. Probably the one Alex was born with. 194 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,073 - How did that get in there? - I have no idea. 195 00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:10,910 It's a Carolean sealed top... 196 00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:14,283 initialed with a "W". No, no, I beg your pardon, that's an "M". 197 00:14:15,988 --> 00:14:17,979 I've never seen it before in my life. 198 00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:20,924 It certainly wasn't in my jacket before we went to Andrea's. 199 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,485 It certainly doesn't come from any restaurant. 200 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:26,430 Somebody has put it in the wrong jacket. 201 00:14:26,465 --> 00:14:27,796 Mm. 202 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,860 - Lovejoy. - Yeah? 203 00:14:33,505 --> 00:14:36,599 What exactly do they do with black pepper? 204 00:14:37,343 --> 00:14:39,334 Janey, Janey, Janey... 205 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:44,572 Number five was the judge and Mrs. Russell. Remember the cake? 206 00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:48,348 Every calorie, Andrea. You got a number for him? 207 00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:52,118 No, but he's the Honorable Judge Raymond Russell or something. 208 00:14:52,157 --> 00:14:55,354 - Right, two to go. - One couple, table three. 209 00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:57,362 I never saw them before. 210 00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:58,693 - Plastic? - Cash. 211 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,790 - Quaint. - Two fifties, I remember. 212 00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:03,461 Yes, so would I. Right, that's one to go. 213 00:15:03,502 --> 00:15:07,438 One businessman, table one. Mr. Simpson. In the corner. 214 00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:09,703 - He's in your line of business. - Really? 215 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,733 (Speaks Italian) 216 00:15:11,777 --> 00:15:13,506 - Got a number for him? - Yeah. 217 00:15:13,545 --> 00:15:17,811 Bishop's Stortford 658463. 218 00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:20,648 - And he's booked for lunch. - Thank you, Andrea. 219 00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:23,120 Hell of a lot of fuss about a spoon. 220 00:15:23,155 --> 00:15:26,750 I don't like it when people give me things. 221 00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:30,185 (Eric) Hello, Lovejoy Associates. Can I help you? 222 00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:32,857 - Hello, Eric? - 0h, hello, Lady Jane. 223 00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:37,426 Hello. Tell Lovejoy I'm on my way to see Sir Max, Sir Max Spence, 224 00:15:37,469 --> 00:15:39,460 and I'll ask if today's a good day for him. 225 00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:41,939 - This afternoon? - Oh, will that be suitable? 226 00:15:41,974 --> 00:15:42,963 Yes, I'm free. 227 00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:45,909 - Silly sod. I put it in the wrong pocket. - Careless. 228 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,436 - Very. - Why didn't you mention it to Andrea? 229 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:52,712 I wasn't sure where it happened. I just knew I was a spoon short. 230 00:15:52,751 --> 00:15:54,776 What does the "P" stand for? 231 00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:57,448 Uh... My wife Pat. 232 00:15:57,489 --> 00:15:59,218 - Patricia. - Ah! 233 00:15:59,258 --> 00:16:01,249 - What's wrong? - "P" is an "M". 234 00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:02,624 Ah. 235 00:16:05,731 --> 00:16:09,258 (Tinker) Don't let him see what you're looking at. Move down, Eric. 236 00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:11,292 - It's George the Third. - That's right. 237 00:16:11,337 --> 00:16:13,430 Peter and Anne Bateman, 1790s. 238 00:16:14,173 --> 00:16:17,904 - Isn't it a beauty? - Twenty-odd ounces, I'd say. 239 00:16:17,943 --> 00:16:21,538 Anybody would be thrilled to own something like that. 240 00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:25,573 - It's not my eureka. - No, it's not, but it's worth picking up. 241 00:16:25,617 --> 00:16:29,053 Don't go straight to it. We'll look at something else first. 242 00:16:29,088 --> 00:16:31,079 What's its price, Eric? 243 00:16:34,393 --> 00:16:36,759 - A.B.E.O. - That's a big help. 244 00:16:36,795 --> 00:16:39,355 - Eight hundred. - Start at five. 245 00:16:39,398 --> 00:16:43,391 - You'll be lucky! - Six and they might take you seriously. 246 00:16:43,435 --> 00:16:46,700 Eric, people always take me seriously. 247 00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:50,266 Yeah, of course they do, Greg. Of course they do. 248 00:16:54,246 --> 00:16:56,373 (Mrs. Russell) I put it there. 249 00:16:56,415 --> 00:16:58,212 Why? 250 00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:00,741 Because I needed to know if I could trust you. 251 00:17:00,786 --> 00:17:04,278 - Just ask Jane. - I didn't know how well you knew her. 252 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,925 This could be an expensive way of checking people out. 253 00:17:08,827 --> 00:17:10,818 I was desperate. 254 00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:13,565 Am desperate. 255 00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:20,632 You need help? 256 00:17:20,672 --> 00:17:24,733 I need to sell some spoons and replace them with look-alikes 257 00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,768 good enough to fool most people. 258 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,038 Please, sit down. 259 00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:32,481 Ahem. 260 00:17:33,452 --> 00:17:35,443 Including the judge, for example? 261 00:17:36,922 --> 00:17:39,516 And at a fraction of the cost. 262 00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:42,686 - How long have you got? - 24 hours. 263 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:46,129 Not me you need, Mrs. Russell, it's the Magic Circle - all of them. 264 00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:49,794 - Not a chance. - There are other things. 265 00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:52,963 With respect, there's the Van Der Elst in the hall. 266 00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:55,769 No, the spoons are mine. The other things aren't. 267 00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:03,813 How much cash do you need? 268 00:18:03,849 --> 00:18:05,840 Several thousand. 269 00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:11,316 And you really can't talk to your husband about any of this? 270 00:18:11,356 --> 00:18:14,018 You can talk to me about it. 271 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,151 Will you talk to Jane? 272 00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:24,431 Thank you, James. We won't be needing you again today. 273 00:18:24,470 --> 00:18:27,098 - Thanks, fella. - Thanks, Greg. 274 00:18:27,139 --> 00:18:29,130 Nice doing business with you. 275 00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:31,165 (Tinker sings) 276 00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:41,383 Aha! 277 00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:44,883 - Who is he? - What? 278 00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:46,914 The other man. 279 00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:50,960 - How did you know? - Oh, Janey, please. 280 00:18:50,996 --> 00:18:54,625 Lovejoy, she and Ray are devoted. They're been married for 17 years. 281 00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:57,726 - They've got all this together... - Janey, get to the point. 282 00:18:57,769 --> 00:18:59,930 An indiscretion. 283 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:03,203 - Well, of course. Go on. - With a crook. 284 00:19:03,242 --> 00:19:05,403 Prison record. 285 00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:07,776 And now, he's been killed. 286 00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:13,107 Is she a suspect? 287 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,882 Two policemen from the Met have offered to help. 288 00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:21,383 How? 289 00:19:21,426 --> 00:19:25,522 By omitting her name from enquiries for a large consideration. 290 00:19:29,701 --> 00:19:31,692 Janey... 291 00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:34,934 this stinks. I don't believe a word of this. 292 00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:40,244 Lovejoy, Alex and I have known them for years. Mary's such a sweet woman. 293 00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:44,306 I'm sure she is, but just because a friend of yours committed an indiscretion... 294 00:19:44,349 --> 00:19:45,680 Yes? 295 00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:49,921 - It's nothing to do with me. - Well... 296 00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:52,446 - I said we'd help. - We? 297 00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:55,257 You. 298 00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:02,256 Thank you, Jane. 299 00:20:08,273 --> 00:20:10,264 It's a vase. 300 00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:12,004 Rare? 301 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,604 Yeah, it's as rare as rocking-horse droppings. 302 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,975 Argy-Rousseau. Cost me 11,000. 303 00:20:19,017 --> 00:20:21,349 That's 22 Australian. 304 00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:23,718 It's a beaut. 305 00:20:23,755 --> 00:20:26,383 No, I just want to know if I need an export license. 306 00:20:27,993 --> 00:20:30,962 Were you going to put them on the policy? 307 00:20:30,996 --> 00:20:33,988 Hang on, just a minute. Can you go a bit further down here? 308 00:20:34,766 --> 00:20:38,702 I'll keep it in the safe and you talk to the airline about shipping. 309 00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:42,764 You got trouble, right here in River City with a capital "T" and that rhymes with "P" 310 00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:45,936 and that stands for..."police." 311 00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:48,003 I'm too young to go to prison, Lovejoy. 312 00:20:48,046 --> 00:20:50,037 And I'm too old. 313 00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:53,415 Tinker, where's your sense of adventure? 314 00:20:53,452 --> 00:20:55,818 I left it behind in the NAAFI in 1953. 315 00:20:57,990 --> 00:21:01,323 Lady Jane will be very upset about this. 316 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:04,227 - Is she in on it? - Her and Mary Russell, like that. 317 00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:07,961 - Well, you never said. - Didn't think I had to. 318 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,800 Anyway, Jane and I told Mary to stall them, tell them she needed more time. 319 00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:13,896 They were going to call today, you see. 320 00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:17,306 We were going to set up a meeting and we were going to be there. 321 00:21:17,342 --> 00:21:19,003 - We? - We. 322 00:21:19,044 --> 00:21:21,774 To do what? 323 00:21:21,813 --> 00:21:23,144 Surveillance. 324 00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:26,412 Eric is our security expert after all, Tink. 325 00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:29,318 - But he didn't finish the course, Lovejoy. - (Eric) Nearly! 326 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,951 - You want to bug the meeting, right? - Oh, my God. 327 00:21:32,991 --> 00:21:38,054 Well, it's easy-peasy, because I can get one of these electronic briefcases, right? 328 00:21:38,096 --> 00:21:40,564 You open it up, there's a microphone inside... 329 00:21:40,599 --> 00:21:42,226 - Get one! - Wilco. 330 00:21:42,267 --> 00:21:45,100 And after the meet... we tail 'em. 331 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,468 Oh, my God. 332 00:21:46,505 --> 00:21:49,531 - I'm on the Harley, right? - I'm in Miriam. 333 00:21:49,574 --> 00:21:52,065 - Tink, that butcher's van. - Oh, my God! 334 00:21:52,110 --> 00:21:55,546 - Melgrave's. You remember. - That's the one. See if you can get it. 335 00:21:55,580 --> 00:21:58,947 - Must I, Lovejoy? - Well, why not? 336 00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:01,111 The smell of animal blood makes me sick. 337 00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:03,144 Oh, my God. 338 00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:12,092 This was designed by Archibald Knox. 339 00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:16,899 - The Celtic tracery is beautiful. - (Greg) Seen many like it? 340 00:22:16,935 --> 00:22:18,926 Oh, it's very rare. 341 00:22:18,970 --> 00:22:23,031 Uh, Sir Max, what did we decide about the Pugin? 342 00:22:23,075 --> 00:22:25,305 Twenty-five thousand. 343 00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:28,404 - Twenty, wasn't it? - No, twenty-five. 344 00:22:28,447 --> 00:22:30,438 Twenty. 345 00:22:33,151 --> 00:22:35,142 Enameled cabochon. 346 00:22:36,588 --> 00:22:38,453 - What do you think, Greg? - I like it. 347 00:22:38,490 --> 00:22:40,549 - Three. - I'd have thought two. 348 00:22:40,592 --> 00:22:43,083 - Three. - Uh, Greg, a word. 349 00:22:45,397 --> 00:22:47,922 - I make the deals, you sign the checks. - If you say so. 350 00:22:47,966 --> 00:22:49,957 That's the way it works. 351 00:22:50,736 --> 00:22:54,172 - Two grand, top whack. - Oh, I'm not so sure. 352 00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:56,538 All right, then. 353 00:22:57,275 --> 00:22:59,266 Oh, don't be too hasty. 354 00:23:01,780 --> 00:23:03,771 I can live with two. 355 00:23:08,019 --> 00:23:10,010 (Clock chimes) 356 00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:14,620 Oh, Greg. 357 00:23:14,659 --> 00:23:16,820 Excuse me. 358 00:23:16,862 --> 00:23:18,193 Burne-Jones. 359 00:23:19,431 --> 00:23:22,491 - What is it, young fellow? - You can ask Sir Max. 360 00:23:22,534 --> 00:23:25,332 Um, do you have a toilet I can use? 361 00:23:25,370 --> 00:23:27,395 Yes. Straight out and first turn left. 362 00:23:31,143 --> 00:23:33,577 - What do you think, Greg? - That's terrific. 363 00:23:33,612 --> 00:23:36,274 That'll look great over Viv's desk. 364 00:23:41,753 --> 00:23:43,482 (Whispers) Eureka. 365 00:23:43,522 --> 00:23:45,513 You beaut. 366 00:23:48,093 --> 00:23:52,120 No point hanging your noses over that, boys. Not for sale. 367 00:23:53,765 --> 00:23:56,029 - What is it? - Tell him, Lovejoy. 368 00:23:57,068 --> 00:23:59,002 It's a Benin bronze. 369 00:23:59,037 --> 00:24:02,700 The only other place you'll see one is the Berggruen collection. 370 00:24:02,741 --> 00:24:06,609 It's a head for a king's altar. "Oba" they call them. 371 00:24:07,813 --> 00:24:12,113 You know, Benin City was sacked by the Brits in 1897. 372 00:24:13,185 --> 00:24:15,517 Oh, they still make them, but not like this. 373 00:24:15,554 --> 00:24:19,081 - Where's Benin? - Bendel State in Nigeria. 374 00:24:20,258 --> 00:24:22,453 Must be worth a power of money. 375 00:24:22,494 --> 00:24:25,554 - Oh, it's worth a million. - Why won't you sell it, then? 376 00:24:25,597 --> 00:24:29,761 Well, I would tomorrow, but the Department of Trade vetoed an export license. 377 00:24:29,801 --> 00:24:31,860 I can't apply again for seven years. 378 00:24:32,604 --> 00:24:34,799 The Waverly Criteria. 379 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:37,274 - What's that? - Red tape. 380 00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:42,337 Can't flog things of national and cultural interest, blah, blah. 381 00:24:42,380 --> 00:24:47,010 And knowing that, domestic buyers think they have me over a barrel. 382 00:24:47,686 --> 00:24:49,313 Sod 'em! 383 00:24:53,525 --> 00:24:56,926 - It's stunning. - Yes, it is, indeed. 384 00:24:56,962 --> 00:24:59,396 Well, come on, Lulu. 385 00:24:59,431 --> 00:25:02,332 "Do not go gentle into that good night 386 00:25:02,367 --> 00:25:05,200 "Rage, rage against the dying of the light" 387 00:25:05,237 --> 00:25:07,228 - Lovejoy? - Hm? 388 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:09,867 Eureka! 389 00:25:10,876 --> 00:25:13,572 Greg, you heard him. 390 00:25:16,014 --> 00:25:18,073 Lovejoy... 391 00:25:18,116 --> 00:25:19,606 I want it. 392 00:25:21,887 --> 00:25:23,878 (Phone) 393 00:25:27,759 --> 00:25:29,750 60590. 394 00:25:31,096 --> 00:25:33,087 Yes, Inspector. 395 00:25:34,266 --> 00:25:37,360 Um, not here. I have the decorators in. 396 00:25:38,737 --> 00:25:41,228 The Green Man. 397 00:25:41,273 --> 00:25:43,605 No, but I'll find it. 398 00:25:43,642 --> 00:25:45,337 Two o'clock. 399 00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:48,039 Yes. Yes, I'll see you there. 400 00:25:48,947 --> 00:25:50,278 Goodbye. 401 00:25:50,982 --> 00:25:54,008 - Well done! - I feel sick. 402 00:25:54,052 --> 00:25:56,043 Leave it to Lovejoy. He'll sort it out. 403 00:25:57,322 --> 00:25:59,347 (Sighs) 404 00:25:59,391 --> 00:26:01,882 Yes, it's terrible, it's terrible, terrible. 405 00:26:14,673 --> 00:26:16,664 (Phone) 406 00:26:21,813 --> 00:26:23,144 Veitch. 407 00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:26,816 Sir Max. 408 00:26:27,953 --> 00:26:30,251 I was just thinking about you. 409 00:26:30,288 --> 00:26:33,382 Cymbidium Rievaulx Hamsey. 410 00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:35,723 It's beautiful, isn't it? 411 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,593 It's not a rare orchid, as orchids go, 412 00:26:38,630 --> 00:26:43,124 but it's a terrible blighter to grow. 413 00:26:43,168 --> 00:26:45,898 The Benin bronze. You wanted to talk about it. 414 00:26:45,937 --> 00:26:50,237 Oh, very direct, Anzacs. Always noticed. 415 00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:53,335 I've been thinking. 416 00:26:53,378 --> 00:26:55,369 And chewing it over. 417 00:26:58,183 --> 00:27:00,413 Metal. I'd rather buy plastics. 418 00:27:01,820 --> 00:27:05,119 There might, just might, 419 00:27:05,156 --> 00:27:08,956 be a way round our problem. 420 00:27:08,994 --> 00:27:11,292 Our problem? I approve. 421 00:27:11,329 --> 00:27:14,787 We needn't bring Lovejoy into it, need we? 422 00:27:14,833 --> 00:27:17,734 - No, I see no reason. - Well, you know what they say, 423 00:27:17,769 --> 00:27:20,397 - a commission saved is a... - Is a commission saved, 424 00:27:20,438 --> 00:27:23,100 split two ways - your way, my way. 425 00:27:23,141 --> 00:27:25,632 The trouble is that it's... 426 00:27:26,544 --> 00:27:29,604 It involves a slight... 427 00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:31,878 How shall I put it? 428 00:27:31,916 --> 00:27:36,114 A slight bending of the law. 429 00:27:36,154 --> 00:27:39,123 Well, what are laws for, Sir Max... 430 00:27:39,157 --> 00:27:41,455 if not to be bent? 431 00:28:21,332 --> 00:28:23,926 (Farmer) Friesians, Hereford... 432 00:28:23,968 --> 00:28:25,299 Oh! 433 00:28:28,807 --> 00:28:30,798 (Indistinct conversation) 434 00:28:42,353 --> 00:28:44,344 Thank you. 435 00:28:44,856 --> 00:28:48,622 The same principle as the Trojan horse. 436 00:28:48,660 --> 00:28:52,391 - I don't understand. - Well, hide it inside something else. 437 00:28:52,430 --> 00:28:55,126 Oh, I see! Right, right. 438 00:28:55,166 --> 00:28:57,134 Is this legal? 439 00:28:57,168 --> 00:28:59,102 Er, well... 440 00:28:59,137 --> 00:29:01,105 not entirely, no. 441 00:29:01,139 --> 00:29:05,508 The damn Department of Trade, they won't grant me an export license. 442 00:29:05,543 --> 00:29:08,535 Dreary farts. Can't appeal again till '99! 443 00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:11,208 - I shall be dead by then. - It is yours, aye? 444 00:29:11,249 --> 00:29:13,911 Of course it's mine! 445 00:29:13,952 --> 00:29:16,682 That has been in the Spence family since the 1890s. 446 00:29:16,721 --> 00:29:18,780 The question is, can you do it? 447 00:29:18,823 --> 00:29:22,190 Oh, aye, I could. Just no' sure that I should. 448 00:29:26,498 --> 00:29:28,489 How much? 449 00:29:29,734 --> 00:29:31,725 - For all three? - Yeah, the lot. 450 00:29:32,837 --> 00:29:35,169 Um, two grand? 451 00:29:35,206 --> 00:29:37,538 Four. I'll give you four. 452 00:29:37,575 --> 00:29:40,009 That help make your mind up? 453 00:29:56,027 --> 00:29:59,690 You got a good look at Shand and the car, right, Tink? 454 00:29:59,731 --> 00:30:00,823 Tink? 455 00:30:00,865 --> 00:30:04,323 - I'm not a baby. - Oh, you look terrible. 456 00:30:04,369 --> 00:30:06,633 I'm not well. 457 00:30:18,316 --> 00:30:20,307 Hi. Sit down. 458 00:30:23,788 --> 00:30:26,484 - Would you like something to drink? - No. 459 00:30:26,524 --> 00:30:28,321 No, thank you. 460 00:30:30,295 --> 00:30:32,889 So where is it? 461 00:30:32,931 --> 00:30:34,922 I haven't got it. 462 00:30:34,966 --> 00:30:36,831 - What? - I need more time. 463 00:30:36,868 --> 00:30:41,202 - I told you... - You didn't give me long enough. Please. 464 00:30:41,272 --> 00:30:45,003 If you haven't got the money then our report has to go in with the photos. 465 00:30:45,043 --> 00:30:48,570 Inspector, please. Just another 24 hours. 466 00:30:48,613 --> 00:30:49,910 Nah. 467 00:30:49,948 --> 00:30:53,281 Listen, I'm selling some silver. 468 00:30:53,318 --> 00:30:55,946 I should have the money by the end of today. 469 00:30:55,987 --> 00:30:59,650 That, plus some shares I'm selling. Well, it'll be enough. 470 00:30:59,691 --> 00:31:02,319 What difference can one day make? 471 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:03,486 Please! 472 00:31:05,263 --> 00:31:07,697 All right. 473 00:31:07,732 --> 00:31:10,997 - Thank you. - I'll call. Same time tomorrow. 474 00:31:11,035 --> 00:31:12,935 Be ready. 475 00:31:12,971 --> 00:31:14,336 I promise. 476 00:31:42,433 --> 00:31:47,837 The thing is, gentlemen, I can't fire another bronze round it. 477 00:31:47,872 --> 00:31:51,308 Why not? Cos it might crack the original. 478 00:31:51,342 --> 00:31:52,969 (Sir Max) Good point. 479 00:31:53,011 --> 00:31:57,414 So... I'll have to model over it. 480 00:31:57,448 --> 00:31:58,881 Oh... 481 00:31:58,917 --> 00:32:00,578 Plaster! 482 00:32:00,618 --> 00:32:04,213 Yes, why not? That'll do fine. 483 00:32:04,255 --> 00:32:06,746 And then when that's dry, 484 00:32:06,791 --> 00:32:10,124 sculpt it, and then... 485 00:32:10,161 --> 00:32:12,391 special paint. 486 00:32:12,430 --> 00:32:14,955 How much? One, two... 487 00:32:14,999 --> 00:32:17,399 Aye, six coats. 488 00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:19,665 What for? 489 00:32:19,704 --> 00:32:21,934 - Why? - To harden it up. 490 00:32:21,973 --> 00:32:25,966 Give it that coldness. I mean, have you ever kissed bronze? 491 00:32:26,811 --> 00:32:29,371 Doesnae kiss you back, does it? 492 00:32:29,414 --> 00:32:32,349 That's right. Not a problem. 493 00:32:32,383 --> 00:32:34,146 - When can you start? - Whenever. 494 00:32:34,185 --> 00:32:37,211 - Now. - Do I no' get a cuppa tea first? 495 00:32:37,255 --> 00:32:38,586 Must you? 496 00:32:40,024 --> 00:32:42,015 Excuse me. 497 00:32:42,827 --> 00:32:45,125 Do you no' trust me? 498 00:32:45,163 --> 00:32:47,154 I trust everybody. 499 00:32:48,366 --> 00:32:49,697 Once. 500 00:33:36,547 --> 00:33:40,506 - So where are they? - I had to pop off into a hedge. 501 00:33:40,551 --> 00:33:42,542 You're cracking up, Tink. 502 00:33:50,294 --> 00:33:52,728 - Hi, John. - Afternoon, ma'am. 503 00:34:05,676 --> 00:34:08,770 - Thank God that's over. - Oh, darling, how was it? 504 00:34:08,813 --> 00:34:10,075 Awful. 505 00:34:10,114 --> 00:34:13,106 - Did anything go wrong? - Not that I know of. 506 00:34:14,252 --> 00:34:17,050 I just feel so... 507 00:34:17,088 --> 00:34:19,318 so soiled... 508 00:34:19,357 --> 00:34:22,053 having to crawl to him. 509 00:34:59,230 --> 00:35:01,755 Oh, don't tell me. 510 00:35:01,799 --> 00:35:04,791 The smell of blood! 511 00:35:04,836 --> 00:35:07,862 I've got some Scotch in the office. 512 00:35:07,905 --> 00:35:09,167 Scotch! 513 00:35:15,513 --> 00:35:19,643 - Eric's tape. - Tape we hear on the way to the Tower. 514 00:35:22,286 --> 00:35:24,754 (Eric) Surveillance at the Green Man pub. 515 00:35:24,789 --> 00:35:30,159 Field agent E Catchpole. 1400 hours, 17th of the seventh. 516 00:35:30,194 --> 00:35:34,324 (Farmer Seen some of them horses at Hunsdon Mead? 517 00:35:34,365 --> 00:35:37,493 (Farmer Average eat last year was 77 kilos. 518 00:35:37,535 --> 00:35:40,527 (Farmer they made over an hundred. 519 00:35:40,571 --> 00:35:43,062 (Farmer an hungry bugger. 520 00:35:43,107 --> 00:35:45,234 (Farmer 521 00:35:45,276 --> 00:35:47,710 Your froggie always was an hungry bugger! 522 00:35:47,745 --> 00:35:49,372 I don't like it much... 523 00:35:49,413 --> 00:35:51,677 Marvelous! 524 00:35:56,954 --> 00:35:58,546 Marvelous. 525 00:35:58,589 --> 00:36:03,151 There I am out risking life and limb and here you are having a laugh. 526 00:36:03,194 --> 00:36:05,628 - How did it go? - Have I got news for you. 527 00:36:05,663 --> 00:36:09,030 Where did he take you, you hungry bugger? 528 00:36:09,066 --> 00:36:11,227 (Imitates farmer) Him too fat, he be... 529 00:36:12,370 --> 00:36:16,101 To a council estate on the outskirts of Ipswich. 530 00:36:16,140 --> 00:36:18,404 I thought he was in the Met. 531 00:36:18,442 --> 00:36:21,934 No, that's what he told Mary Russell. 532 00:36:21,979 --> 00:36:24,914 Wasn't really a policeman at all, was he, Eric? 533 00:36:24,949 --> 00:36:28,077 - Well, how do you know? - Instinct. Gut reaction. 534 00:36:28,119 --> 00:36:30,178 Well, he used to be in the job. 535 00:36:30,221 --> 00:36:35,249 Used to be a DI, didn't he? But he got thrown out over three years ago. 536 00:36:35,293 --> 00:36:37,386 How did you find that out? 537 00:36:37,428 --> 00:36:42,263 Well, I don't suppose you ever were a paperboy, were you, Lady Jane? 538 00:36:42,300 --> 00:36:44,234 As a matter of fact, no, I wasn't. 539 00:36:44,268 --> 00:36:46,566 Well, if you ever want to find anything out, 540 00:36:46,604 --> 00:36:50,131 go to the local newsagents. They're like the Ministry of Information. 541 00:36:50,174 --> 00:36:53,632 - Very good, Eric. - Mind you, I had to dig deep. 542 00:36:53,678 --> 00:36:56,670 - How deep? - Well, an ice-cream cornet, 543 00:36:56,714 --> 00:37:01,014 quarter of jelly beans, fizzy pop and a comic. 544 00:37:01,052 --> 00:37:03,043 For a nipper. 545 00:37:53,070 --> 00:37:55,265 No, gentlemen. 546 00:37:55,306 --> 00:37:57,297 This way, please. 547 00:38:02,580 --> 00:38:05,344 - Good afternoon. What a lovely day. - Who the hell are you? 548 00:38:05,383 --> 00:38:08,477 - Lovejoy. Who the hell are you? - Er, what is all this? 549 00:38:08,519 --> 00:38:09,850 Ah, Shand. 550 00:38:09,887 --> 00:38:16,622 I have here some lovely piccies of you and Mrs. Russell at the Green Man. 551 00:38:16,661 --> 00:38:21,064 They're all of you and Mrs. Russell at the Green Man. Plus some background music. 552 00:38:21,098 --> 00:38:23,464 - I need more time. - I told you... 553 00:38:23,501 --> 00:38:25,492 You didn't give me long enough. 554 00:38:27,171 --> 00:38:28,934 Please. 555 00:38:28,973 --> 00:38:33,205 Well, if you haven't got the money then our report has to go in with the photos. 556 00:38:33,244 --> 00:38:35,644 Enough of that. 557 00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:38,808 "After a protracted illness, Detective Inspector Michael Shand 558 00:38:38,849 --> 00:38:41,579 "was declared permanently unfit for police work. 559 00:38:41,619 --> 00:38:44,087 "He will retire on December 23rd, 1988." 560 00:38:44,121 --> 00:38:48,148 "Detective Inspector Shand was suspended from police duty in 1987." 561 00:38:49,026 --> 00:38:51,620 So what do you want? 562 00:38:53,964 --> 00:38:57,730 What's the penalty these days for impersonating a police officer? 563 00:39:00,304 --> 00:39:02,829 All right, Lovejoy, you want to make a deal? 564 00:39:04,008 --> 00:39:06,306 My piccies for your piccies? 565 00:39:07,945 --> 00:39:08,934 Yeah. 566 00:39:08,979 --> 00:39:12,881 And you never bother Mrs. Russell or her husband again. 567 00:39:24,528 --> 00:39:26,223 Shut it. 568 00:39:26,263 --> 00:39:28,254 Shand? Tape. 569 00:39:32,570 --> 00:39:34,970 Wait till they play the rest of it. 570 00:39:35,005 --> 00:39:38,532 Abracadabra! 571 00:39:41,178 --> 00:39:42,577 Fantastic. 572 00:39:42,613 --> 00:39:44,604 Cold, huh? 573 00:39:44,648 --> 00:39:46,639 - All right to lift? - Of course. 574 00:39:49,620 --> 00:39:52,214 It doesn't often happen. I'm speechless. 575 00:39:56,627 --> 00:39:58,185 Lovejoy? Greg Veitch. 576 00:39:58,229 --> 00:40:02,563 This is farewell and goodbye. I had to go back sooner than expected. 577 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:06,627 Sorry we didn't crack the eureka. Leaves something for next time, eh? 578 00:40:06,670 --> 00:40:11,801 Thanks to you and the boys for your help. You should've got the check by now. 579 00:40:11,842 --> 00:40:14,470 As they say, your blood's worth bottling, sport. 580 00:40:14,512 --> 00:40:16,673 If you get to Sydney, first shout's on me. 581 00:40:18,149 --> 00:40:21,585 Give us a thought when you next get your leg over Lady Jane. 582 00:40:21,619 --> 00:40:23,610 - Lovejoy! - What? 583 00:41:11,202 --> 00:41:13,193 (Squeaks) 584 00:41:43,567 --> 00:41:47,867 Charlene, get me on the first flight out of Nelson. 585 00:41:47,905 --> 00:41:51,602 And listen, have Torchy Jacobson call me from England, will you? 586 00:42:00,985 --> 00:42:03,112 Ah. Jameson? 587 00:42:03,153 --> 00:42:05,280 Sir Max. 588 00:42:05,322 --> 00:42:08,655 How about a couple more bronzes, dear boy? 589 00:42:12,496 --> 00:42:15,090 (Greg) Count the hours, Lovejoy. 590 00:42:15,132 --> 00:42:17,123 What am I talking about? 591 00:42:17,167 --> 00:42:21,160 I'm talking about a Benin bronze. I'm talking about $600,000 Australian. 592 00:42:21,205 --> 00:42:24,368 I'm talking about Sir Max Spence and Jameson and you! 593 00:42:25,943 --> 00:42:28,844 Because you are the bastard who introduced me to them! 594 00:42:31,115 --> 00:42:34,141 The Mafia have a saying, Lovejoy. 595 00:42:34,184 --> 00:42:37,449 "Never hate your enemy, it affects your judgment." 596 00:42:37,488 --> 00:42:39,820 But I'm finding that very hard. 597 00:42:53,704 --> 00:42:55,695 (Knocking) 598 00:43:16,660 --> 00:43:18,651 He's not here! 599 00:43:18,696 --> 00:43:22,598 He must've had a call from Sydney as well and decided to go away for the summer. 600 00:43:22,633 --> 00:43:24,863 Lovejoy, about those few days' holiday you owe me. 601 00:43:24,902 --> 00:43:27,769 Come on! We're going to see Jameson. 602 00:43:27,805 --> 00:43:29,796 - OK, Eric? - Heeey! 603 00:43:46,323 --> 00:43:48,314 (Police radio) 604 00:43:56,967 --> 00:44:01,427 Arson. They reckon the whole place reeked of kerosene when they got here. 605 00:44:01,472 --> 00:44:03,963 - What about Jameson? - No sign of him. 606 00:44:04,008 --> 00:44:05,999 (Phone) 607 00:44:09,346 --> 00:44:12,213 Personally, I'd sooner be dead when I'm cremated. 608 00:44:14,018 --> 00:44:16,009 Lovejoy? 609 00:44:19,690 --> 00:44:21,590 Hello, Lovejoy? 610 00:44:21,625 --> 00:44:24,025 Want to know what happened to Jameson's studio? 611 00:44:24,061 --> 00:44:26,689 I said frighten him and they thought I said "fry him." 612 00:44:26,730 --> 00:44:29,858 Tell Sir Max that's what happens to drongos who cross me. 613 00:44:29,900 --> 00:44:31,891 You're next, Lovejoy. 614 00:44:33,237 --> 00:44:34,568 Janey. 615 00:45:03,834 --> 00:45:05,768 Max! 616 00:45:09,473 --> 00:45:11,065 Max! 617 00:45:11,108 --> 00:45:13,099 Oh, Lovejoy. 618 00:45:14,812 --> 00:45:16,803 Ah, Max! 619 00:45:21,585 --> 00:45:23,576 Is anything wrong? 620 00:45:24,621 --> 00:45:27,613 - The Benin bronze. - What? 621 00:45:27,658 --> 00:45:31,389 - What happened to it? - I've no idea what you're talking about. 622 00:45:31,428 --> 00:45:33,760 Sir Max, please. 623 00:45:33,797 --> 00:45:37,198 You made a deal with Jameson, didn't you? 624 00:45:37,234 --> 00:45:41,170 - Fantasy, Lovejoy. - Someone set fire to his studio. 625 00:45:42,272 --> 00:45:44,331 - Who? - Greg Veitch. 626 00:45:44,374 --> 00:45:47,810 - He's gone. - No, he's back, and... 627 00:45:47,845 --> 00:45:49,005 Excuse me, Jane. 628 00:45:49,046 --> 00:45:51,310 ...wants your balls on a fork. 629 00:45:51,348 --> 00:45:53,976 Oh, my goodness. 630 00:45:54,017 --> 00:45:56,008 What did you do with the money? 631 00:45:59,757 --> 00:46:02,021 - I spent it. - All of it? 632 00:46:02,059 --> 00:46:03,617 - All. - What on? 633 00:46:03,660 --> 00:46:06,720 I sent it straight to the Inland Revenue. Death duties. 634 00:46:06,764 --> 00:46:09,062 That's great, Max. What about the bronze? 635 00:46:09,099 --> 00:46:14,298 - In Jameson's studio. - There is no Jameson's studio. 636 00:46:14,338 --> 00:46:16,329 What was it doing there anyway? 637 00:46:18,876 --> 00:46:20,776 Come on, Max. 638 00:46:20,811 --> 00:46:22,802 Tell us. 639 00:46:26,683 --> 00:46:28,173 I sold it. 640 00:46:28,218 --> 00:46:29,879 Again? 641 00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:32,081 To a Chinese gentleman. 642 00:46:33,157 --> 00:46:35,523 And a Russian. 643 00:46:35,559 --> 00:46:38,221 And to an awfully charming Nigerian. 644 00:46:56,547 --> 00:46:58,845 (Eric) What have you found? 645 00:46:58,882 --> 00:47:01,316 - I'm not sure. - Could it be? 646 00:47:01,351 --> 00:47:03,615 Looks kinda like it, eh? 647 00:47:04,922 --> 00:47:06,913 Million quid's worth? 648 00:47:09,359 --> 00:47:11,350 (Eric) Are you sure, Lovejoy? 649 00:47:11,395 --> 00:47:16,059 I mean, are you sure you haven't just cooked this up? It was just a thought. 650 00:47:16,099 --> 00:47:19,865 I have an auntie in Lyme Regis pining for a visit. 651 00:47:26,443 --> 00:47:28,536 Your chair, Lovejoy. 652 00:47:28,579 --> 00:47:30,570 It's like a fairy on a Christmas tree. 653 00:47:42,226 --> 00:47:45,855 What's that smell? I've smelt it before, recently. 654 00:47:47,664 --> 00:47:48,995 Kerosene. 655 00:47:50,100 --> 00:47:52,466 Oh, my God. 656 00:47:52,502 --> 00:47:57,303 I mean, what are we going to do? How are we going to get this bloke off our backs? 657 00:47:57,341 --> 00:48:01,004 "If you can keep your head whilst all about you are losing theirs..." 658 00:48:02,613 --> 00:48:03,910 Yeah? 659 00:48:03,947 --> 00:48:05,938 - I've forgotten the rest. - Oh! 660 00:48:14,892 --> 00:48:16,223 Shand. 661 00:48:17,060 --> 00:48:19,051 (Knocking) 662 00:48:26,270 --> 00:48:28,636 - Mr. Veitch? - Yeah. 663 00:48:28,672 --> 00:48:33,439 We're police officers, sir. I'm Detective Inspector Shand. This is Detective Sergeant Redston. 664 00:48:33,477 --> 00:48:36,844 We're making some enquiries, sir, about a fire. 665 00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:40,281 A suspected arson attack at a local sculptor's foundry. 666 00:48:53,363 --> 00:48:56,230 - You look well for a dead 'un, Jerry. - What do you want? 667 00:48:56,266 --> 00:48:59,861 What do you think I want? Half of what Veitch gave you. 668 00:48:59,903 --> 00:49:04,272 And this will be the final farewell performance, won't it, Inspector? 669 00:49:05,008 --> 00:49:06,805 Ahem. 670 00:49:09,012 --> 00:49:11,003 Plus the negs. 671 00:49:13,850 --> 00:49:15,841 - Ta. - Er, Lovejoy. 672 00:49:16,586 --> 00:49:19,077 Your negs. I'll give your love to Mary Russell. 673 00:49:28,699 --> 00:49:31,600 Still thinking of popping down to Lyme Regis, Tink? 674 00:49:31,635 --> 00:49:35,765 Oh, there's no great rush. She can wait till summer goes. 675 00:49:35,806 --> 00:49:37,797 And those days off, Eric? 676 00:49:37,841 --> 00:49:41,242 I don't think so. There's too much to do around here, isn't there? 677 00:49:41,278 --> 00:49:43,337 Oh, there's far too much, yeah. 678 00:49:44,281 --> 00:49:46,875 - Can I ask a question? - Certainly. 679 00:49:46,917 --> 00:49:50,910 - As long as it has to do with black pepper. - No, it certainly has not. 680 00:49:50,954 --> 00:49:53,286 Whatever happened to the Benin bronze? 681 00:49:53,323 --> 00:49:56,349 It melted in the Jameson fire. 682 00:49:56,393 --> 00:50:01,626 Yeah, it's probably stuck to the sole of some fireman's size 12 boot. 683 00:50:01,665 --> 00:50:04,532 - What do you say, Lovejoy? - Being an incurable romantic, 684 00:50:04,568 --> 00:50:08,299 I think it's like the Maltese Falcon. We haven't heard the last of it yet. 685 00:50:08,338 --> 00:50:10,431 - What? - You heard what Jameson said. 686 00:50:10,474 --> 00:50:12,874 But I'm a divvy, I sense these things. 687 00:50:12,909 --> 00:50:15,503 Oh, put the kettle on, Lovejoy! 688 00:50:15,545 --> 00:50:16,534 Ha-ha!